Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
