this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
