My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You made out with two different species that night
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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