I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
