it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
