I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
