Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
