think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
