Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
