I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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