I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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