Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
