Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
