I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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