Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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