And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
