I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
