I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
