Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Buhtt sex?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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