Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
