Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
