I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
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