It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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