Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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