did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
