There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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