Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
