just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you win again, gameday.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
