and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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