Sry I called you an 8
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
