Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
