In the future we'll all be gay
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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