I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
