I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I will be naked everywhere
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
