You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
