My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
