Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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