Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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