He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
