Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
