And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
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