so that wasnt chicken after all
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
And then my night got REAL pukey
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
