I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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