I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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