the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
