they need to just BURY HIM!
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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