So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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