it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
