i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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