Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
