i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
